Two Mysteries

I’m thinking today about two mysteries .  They are things we don’t seem to learn regardless of how long humanity has been on the planet.

We know from what we hear and from watching lives of celebrities — especially the ones that die early from drug use or suicide or some combination of the two — that money and fame don’t make one happy.  Yet we still fall prey to always just wanting a little more than we have.  We feel we’re always just slightly under what we “ought” to have.  Of course, that isn’t bad if it spurs us on to do better, to achieve more.  But it seems like mostly it just keeps us not satisfied and looking to the next thing to make us feel the way we want to.  And not only do we miss out on the joy of being content in the moment, but, quoting Socrates, “He who is not contented with what he has would not be contented with what he would like to have.”  Discontentment is more a state of mind than a reflection of our circumstances.

Certainly there are people who are predisposed to have a happy disposition and find good things in almost any situation.  Others don’t have that naturally, and still others were surrounded in childhood by negative people so that the voices in their heads render contentment almost unachieveable.

I learned of a useful practice several years ago.  In a seminar, a young woman told of how her world pretty much fell apart in high school when her parents said they were divorcing. She was totally blown away, and a counselor working with her challenged her to write down things every day that she was grateful.  When she sat down to do it, nothing came to mind. All of life was bleak. Finally she began with “I’m breathing.”  It went from there to “My car works.”  Gradually, her outlook and life changed as being grateful for things usually taken for granted turned into a lifestyle of gratitude.  I have used this method myself to advantage.

As for #2, I am always amazed that even though we know the Grim Reaper will some time come for us and for everyone we love (“98% of people will die at some point in their lives” — Ricky Bobby), we are still in shock when someone we know passes or when we have something that brings our own mortality to the forefront of our minds — being faced with cancer, a near miss with a car accident, etc.  How many times have we overheard “I just can’t believe he’s gone.”   “I just talked with her yesterday.”  We know it’s gonna happen, but paradoxically, we still don’t believe it

I’ve tried to figure out how to keep this more in front of me.  I think of the image below showing that every day, every hour, every minute, we move up in the line, and that is helpful.

But as I am one of those generally predisposed to be optimistic, a clear sunny day helps me forget that each hour, I’m 60 minutes closer to my demise.  

Perhaps the best way to live is to put these two things together.  Given that we have only a certain amount (an unknown amount) of time, good to live it with gratitude for every moment and every thing, keeping palms open to accept what all life brings.  

And that’s all I have to say about that.

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